So I’ll be totally honest, outside of the bullying aspect of findom (eg., stealing my lunch money), I don’t really get it. Let me also say: I don’t have to get it. If it makes you happy and it’s consensual then God bless and enjoy. Many folks don’t “get” my kinks either. I am by no means a finsub. That said, SIR controls my finances, and I have taken out a credit card in HIS name. Why, if I’m not a finsub? Because I’m a sub and as part of that I believe part of my role is to take care of SIR in every way possible.
Physically, not just through sexual submission and slavery, but also through massage. Mentally through being mindful and present and being a listener when SIR needs to talk things through and work things out. Spiritually through worshipping HIM and relaxing HIM. And of course financially. My job is to serve HIM.
SIR in turn uses me as HE sees fit. HE guides me, controls and focuses me, and makes me into the best version of myself I can be. SIR pushes and expands my limits. HE also protects me, and encourages me. SIR is my biggest emotional cheerleader and supporter. When I don’t believe I can do something SIR always makes sure to let me know that HE knows that I can do it.
I’m in a BDSM relationship, not a financial fetish or a transactional relationship. SIR and I compliment one another in our well defined roles. Part of that role, for me, is working to meet SIR’S financial needs. While I sacrifice to do so, SIR also encourages me to take care of myself financially. When I was planning on buying my next car and was thinking out loud that it may take ten years, SIR reminded me I’m waiting on a nice new job offer and I’ll be able to have that new car in two years. SIR isn’t out to “ruin” me. SIR is out to make me the most successful sub I can be. For HIM, and myself.
I live this lifestyle 24/7. If sending money to a Dom over the internet is your thing, that’s literally 100% fine. If it is your thing though, I hope you’ll at least pick an ethical Findom I recommend so you can get the benefit of being submissive to someone who will help you grow as a sub.
For me, being financially submissive is just one part of a multifaceted, in-person Dom/sub relationship 🙂